Topic: Describe a situation in which you found it challenging to achieve your goal.
The past two weeks have been rough. I have been very stressed about everything. My work load at the hospital has recently increased due to an influx of patients that I need to see, I've been putting in extra time with TAing and helping students, and my general lack of time as it is... On top of that, I've been in low place personally and emotionally... due to recent events in my personal life. All these things have contributed to my stress levels, and have made me fall off the 'good eating habits' wagon. I have been eating a great deal more food, have not been cutting my meals in half, been drinking more coffee, eating more junk food, snacking more.... I kept telling myself that I needed to get back on track.... that I'd start back on my diet 'tomorrow'... but as of yet have still failed to do so. I continue to exercise, thanks to having a consistent workout partner (my brother-in-law)... but on the eating side, I've done really poorly. I can't seem to snap out of the funk I'm in, and get motivated to eat better again. I keep wanting to seek comfort in foods and in eating...
I had done so well the first four to five weeks of this...I was pumped up, energized, not craving comfort foods, able to resist and control my cravings... but in the past two weeks, I've done so poorly. What I find challenging in achieving my goal is how to get that spark... that kick in the bottom... to get back on track. I can't seem to find the motivation. My other methods of stress relief (i.e. getting some R&R this weekend, music, dancing, exercising) don't seem to be cutting it. My mind and body keep going back to the comfort foods. I'm afraid to weigh myself... for fear that I've regressed and gained back a few pounds that I had lost....
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Time, Sleep, Stress...
Topic of the Week: Identify 3 barriers to change and discuss ways to overcome these barriers.
Simply stated, 3 barriers to change for me are lack of time, lack of sleep, and stress.... really all three are related and affect each other...
1. Lack of Time: So things are really starting to pick up for me in regards to school work and my doctoral work... I have a lot more patients to see at the hospital, and I am spending many more hours than I'm supposed to there to ensure continuity of care for my patients... but lack of balance for me... so I've been coming in early, and leaving late every day. On top of that, I am a TA as well... On top of that, I commute around an hour and a half each way... every day... at prime time traffic hours... so on weekdays I can spend anywhere between 3-4 hours on the road. Not to mention... I am taking classes and have a ton of homework and readings to do... Needless to say, there are not enough hours in the day. By the time I get home, it's usually 7:30 or 8pm most weekdays... and so I have to exercise right away or else I won't do it. That usually takes an hour or so... so by the time I'm done it's past 9pm. I try not to eat dinner too late... but sometimes that happens... which does not help with the healthier eating habits. By the time dinner is done... I need to take a shower... and it's past 10pm... at which point I need to do some homework... So lack of time is really starting to take it's toll on my exercise routine. I have really been trying to keep up with the exercise... but this is causing me to suffer otherwise...
2) Lack of sleep: Very much related to the above, since I get home so late, and by the time I exercise and eat and all that good stuff, I am soooo tired. I try to sit up and do homework, and therefore have been staying up through the night to do work. This past week I haven't gotten more than 2-3 hours of sleep per night... and it's really taking it's toll. Getting adequate sleep is crucial to losing weight, as the body needs time to rejuvenate and metabolize at night. So this is really working against me meeting my goal. I also find that I'm much more sluggish at work, easily fatigued when exercising, and I'm hungrier. I've started to fall off the wagon in regards to eating. I've been eating a lot the past few days... or the past week... I've given in to cravings for sugary coffee... I haven't been cutting my meals in half as much or portioning as well... and I've been snacking on some carbs/starch products...
3) Stress: Last but definitely not least... of course the above two factor into this... all the stress from the work I need to do with the little time I have in the day is really stressing me out... I have to keep up with classes while also working on my doctoral capstone due in a few months... All this on top of personal life stress for the past few months that I've been struggling through...
I'm a stress eater... I turn to food or I crave food... I crave sweet, starchy products (i.e. cakes, cookies), and sugary-coffee (i.e. caramel macchiato) whenever I'm tired or stressed... and all the stress lately has been really testing me... and I've failed a few times at resisting.
I found it apropos to address this topic tonight because, to top the cake off... my backpack was stolen today. Well, the backpack was recovered in the men's restroom, but my purse was stolen out of the backpack, along with a few other items. So, my wallet, which of course has all my essentials (i.e. Driver's license, debit card, credit cards, membership cards, insurance cards, etc.) are gone... along with some items with sentimental value that cannot be replaced... it was quite the blow at the end of a long day and week for me. I was TAing at the time... my backpack was in our little TA office right in the next hallway... less than 50 feet away from me... It's not the end of the world, and I know that there are millions of worse things that can happen.... but with the stress I've been under lately... it hit me quite hard. Luckily they didn't find my car and house keys... so I was able to drive home and not be stranded. I decided not to go to my dance class, and instead go home and deal with the loss of items. Upon getting home... my brother-in-law decided to buy pizza for dinner for me... and I cracked open a bottle of wine... I'm not gonna lie, I wanted a little drink to help me relax... so I ate pizza and wings... and didn't portion that whatsoever... and I didn't exercise today... So I've fallen off the wagon officially I think.
I immediately took care of the most important issues (i.e. calling bank, etc)... and am up in the middle of the night doing my homework... will hopefully re-gather myself tomorrow... and then get right back up on that wagon. I need to get back on my plan to lose weight... because this plan actually is intended to not only decrease my calorie intake, and increase my physical activity... but to increase my psychosocial health. I related to the New article found by Sheena called "Positive Affect, Exercise, and Self-Reported Health in Blue-Collar Women". The idea of exercise increasing positive affect, or positive affect increasing exercise... and positive affect increasing self-reported health... is also what I'm striving to achieve. I believe it's all connected.
In order to overcome these barriers... I will have to create more boundaries when it comes to work at the hospital for myself. I can't help myself... I always stay and help or treat patients more than I am required to... at detriment to myself and the things I need to do. I will try to structure my time in a way that promotes balance. I will try to consistently get more sleep... after tonight of course... and finally I will find other ways to deal with stress. The dance class is one way, but that's only once a week. I need other smaller things I can do during the day when I feel stressed and have a craving for comfort food...
Simply stated, 3 barriers to change for me are lack of time, lack of sleep, and stress.... really all three are related and affect each other...
1. Lack of Time: So things are really starting to pick up for me in regards to school work and my doctoral work... I have a lot more patients to see at the hospital, and I am spending many more hours than I'm supposed to there to ensure continuity of care for my patients... but lack of balance for me... so I've been coming in early, and leaving late every day. On top of that, I am a TA as well... On top of that, I commute around an hour and a half each way... every day... at prime time traffic hours... so on weekdays I can spend anywhere between 3-4 hours on the road. Not to mention... I am taking classes and have a ton of homework and readings to do... Needless to say, there are not enough hours in the day. By the time I get home, it's usually 7:30 or 8pm most weekdays... and so I have to exercise right away or else I won't do it. That usually takes an hour or so... so by the time I'm done it's past 9pm. I try not to eat dinner too late... but sometimes that happens... which does not help with the healthier eating habits. By the time dinner is done... I need to take a shower... and it's past 10pm... at which point I need to do some homework... So lack of time is really starting to take it's toll on my exercise routine. I have really been trying to keep up with the exercise... but this is causing me to suffer otherwise...
2) Lack of sleep: Very much related to the above, since I get home so late, and by the time I exercise and eat and all that good stuff, I am soooo tired. I try to sit up and do homework, and therefore have been staying up through the night to do work. This past week I haven't gotten more than 2-3 hours of sleep per night... and it's really taking it's toll. Getting adequate sleep is crucial to losing weight, as the body needs time to rejuvenate and metabolize at night. So this is really working against me meeting my goal. I also find that I'm much more sluggish at work, easily fatigued when exercising, and I'm hungrier. I've started to fall off the wagon in regards to eating. I've been eating a lot the past few days... or the past week... I've given in to cravings for sugary coffee... I haven't been cutting my meals in half as much or portioning as well... and I've been snacking on some carbs/starch products...
3) Stress: Last but definitely not least... of course the above two factor into this... all the stress from the work I need to do with the little time I have in the day is really stressing me out... I have to keep up with classes while also working on my doctoral capstone due in a few months... All this on top of personal life stress for the past few months that I've been struggling through...
I'm a stress eater... I turn to food or I crave food... I crave sweet, starchy products (i.e. cakes, cookies), and sugary-coffee (i.e. caramel macchiato) whenever I'm tired or stressed... and all the stress lately has been really testing me... and I've failed a few times at resisting.
I found it apropos to address this topic tonight because, to top the cake off... my backpack was stolen today. Well, the backpack was recovered in the men's restroom, but my purse was stolen out of the backpack, along with a few other items. So, my wallet, which of course has all my essentials (i.e. Driver's license, debit card, credit cards, membership cards, insurance cards, etc.) are gone... along with some items with sentimental value that cannot be replaced... it was quite the blow at the end of a long day and week for me. I was TAing at the time... my backpack was in our little TA office right in the next hallway... less than 50 feet away from me... It's not the end of the world, and I know that there are millions of worse things that can happen.... but with the stress I've been under lately... it hit me quite hard. Luckily they didn't find my car and house keys... so I was able to drive home and not be stranded. I decided not to go to my dance class, and instead go home and deal with the loss of items. Upon getting home... my brother-in-law decided to buy pizza for dinner for me... and I cracked open a bottle of wine... I'm not gonna lie, I wanted a little drink to help me relax... so I ate pizza and wings... and didn't portion that whatsoever... and I didn't exercise today... So I've fallen off the wagon officially I think.
I immediately took care of the most important issues (i.e. calling bank, etc)... and am up in the middle of the night doing my homework... will hopefully re-gather myself tomorrow... and then get right back up on that wagon. I need to get back on my plan to lose weight... because this plan actually is intended to not only decrease my calorie intake, and increase my physical activity... but to increase my psychosocial health. I related to the New article found by Sheena called "Positive Affect, Exercise, and Self-Reported Health in Blue-Collar Women". The idea of exercise increasing positive affect, or positive affect increasing exercise... and positive affect increasing self-reported health... is also what I'm striving to achieve. I believe it's all connected.
In order to overcome these barriers... I will have to create more boundaries when it comes to work at the hospital for myself. I can't help myself... I always stay and help or treat patients more than I am required to... at detriment to myself and the things I need to do. I will try to structure my time in a way that promotes balance. I will try to consistently get more sleep... after tonight of course... and finally I will find other ways to deal with stress. The dance class is one way, but that's only once a week. I need other smaller things I can do during the day when I feel stressed and have a craving for comfort food...
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Inspirations
Topic of the week: Write about a person you feel is inspirational to you in achieving this change.
I find inspiration not in one person, but in all of my patients in the hospital. I spend a lot of my time working with patients in the ICU... people who are very sick and battling some unimaginable things. There are people attached to all kinds of IVs, lines, monitors... but still have the resolve to fight hard and be strong. In fact, one of my patients right now is captive in the ICU, in need of and waiting for a heart transplant. However, you would never guess that he was that ill... he is a big, strong man, who is adamant about staying mentally positive and keeping up his strength and endurance until such time that a heart arrives for him... (Research shows that people who have a more positive outlook and better physical condition fare much better with their new organ...) To this end, this patient takes his large IV pole with around ten lines tethered between him and his various drips and medications, along with several machines, and walks laps upon laps around the ICU unit... one day doing 39 laps which required switching out nurses to keep up with him. Seeing such amazing things reminds me that we humans are capable of so much more than we think. And so, all this inspires me to live my life better... to take care of myself and live to my potential... to not squander the health that I have... to meet my goal of becoming a more healthy weight.
My progress: My current weigh in today was 1*0.0 lbs. I have been trying to weigh myself more consistently around mid-late afternoon... so hopefully that is an accurate weight, as my weight can fluctuate between 3-5 lbs in one single day. I am still making progress, which is a good thing. It was Chinese New Year just a few days ago... so there have been familial eating engagements that have caused me to eat more than I intended... but I still tried to cut down from what I would usually have eaten. I have been working out everyday, except my late work days on Monday... and Thursday which I have now devoted to taking a dance class at night which allows me to have fun and exercise at the same time. I have not yet worked out today... and it's getting late. Maybe I'll get a chance to work out later on tonight... for now, my family wants to go out for dinner... It really is difficult resisting all those high calorie items on the menu when eating out. To combat falling off the wagon and failing miserably, I have chosen to not follow the strict P90X diet, and still keep carbs/starches in my diet. I just have been cutting down the amount of food I eat, the amount of junk food I eat, and the calories I consume. It's been do-able... and I occasionally let myself have a small treat... like yesterday I had 2 french fries... and shared a small ice cream cone. But I'm glad I didn't eat more. I've tried extremely strict dieting before... that didn't last me more than 2 months. So hopefully by being less strict, I'll last at least until the end of this semester, if not for good.
I find inspiration not in one person, but in all of my patients in the hospital. I spend a lot of my time working with patients in the ICU... people who are very sick and battling some unimaginable things. There are people attached to all kinds of IVs, lines, monitors... but still have the resolve to fight hard and be strong. In fact, one of my patients right now is captive in the ICU, in need of and waiting for a heart transplant. However, you would never guess that he was that ill... he is a big, strong man, who is adamant about staying mentally positive and keeping up his strength and endurance until such time that a heart arrives for him... (Research shows that people who have a more positive outlook and better physical condition fare much better with their new organ...) To this end, this patient takes his large IV pole with around ten lines tethered between him and his various drips and medications, along with several machines, and walks laps upon laps around the ICU unit... one day doing 39 laps which required switching out nurses to keep up with him. Seeing such amazing things reminds me that we humans are capable of so much more than we think. And so, all this inspires me to live my life better... to take care of myself and live to my potential... to not squander the health that I have... to meet my goal of becoming a more healthy weight.
My progress: My current weigh in today was 1*0.0 lbs. I have been trying to weigh myself more consistently around mid-late afternoon... so hopefully that is an accurate weight, as my weight can fluctuate between 3-5 lbs in one single day. I am still making progress, which is a good thing. It was Chinese New Year just a few days ago... so there have been familial eating engagements that have caused me to eat more than I intended... but I still tried to cut down from what I would usually have eaten. I have been working out everyday, except my late work days on Monday... and Thursday which I have now devoted to taking a dance class at night which allows me to have fun and exercise at the same time. I have not yet worked out today... and it's getting late. Maybe I'll get a chance to work out later on tonight... for now, my family wants to go out for dinner... It really is difficult resisting all those high calorie items on the menu when eating out. To combat falling off the wagon and failing miserably, I have chosen to not follow the strict P90X diet, and still keep carbs/starches in my diet. I just have been cutting down the amount of food I eat, the amount of junk food I eat, and the calories I consume. It's been do-able... and I occasionally let myself have a small treat... like yesterday I had 2 french fries... and shared a small ice cream cone. But I'm glad I didn't eat more. I've tried extremely strict dieting before... that didn't last me more than 2 months. So hopefully by being less strict, I'll last at least until the end of this semester, if not for good.
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